Friendship: Final Part

السَّلامْ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكات

To Conclude:

The Duties of Friendship Are:

1. To help the friend financially even when one needs money for oneself. If this is not possible, one should help the friend with one’s surplus wealth at the time of his need. One should also assist him in his needs spontaneously, before he seeks assistance.

2. To hide his secrets, and to conceal his faults.

3. Not to convey to him others’ disdain for him thereby making him unhappy. Rather convey to him others’ praises of him, thereby pleasing him.

4. To listen to him with full attention when he speaks and not to argue with him.

5. To call him with the name which he likes the most, to praise him by mentioning his deeds that one knows, and to express gratitude to him in his presence for the good deeds that he has done.

6. To defend the friend in his absence when aspersions are cast on his good repute, as one defends oneself.

7. To admonish him with kindness and in ambiguous terms when he needs admonition.

8. To forgive his faults and errors and not to blame him.

9. In one’s solitude, to pray for the friend during his lifetime and also after his death.

10. To take care of a friend’s wife and his other relatives after his death.

11. To choose to make things easy for the friend; so one will not charge him with the meeting of any of one’s needs.

12. To give rest to his mind by removing causes of distress.

13. To express joy at all his delights, and to express sorrow at all unwanted things which happen to him, and to keep in mind that feeling for him which has been expressed to him so that one becomes truthful in ones friendships, both secretly and openly.

14. To greet the friend first when he approaches, to make room for him, to come out from the house to receive him, to see him off when he leaves, to keep silent when he speaks until he completes his conversation, and not to interrupt him when speaking.

In short: One is to behave with one’s friend just as one would like him to behave with you.
The brotherhood (Friendship) of a man who does not want for his brother what he wants for himself is hypocrisy (Nifaq) and is an evil for him in this world and the hereafter.

Next  up : The etiquette’s with the acquaintances.

 Apologies for the delay in posting and replying to comments (via email), my email’s been acting funny and not letting me send mail.
Also got a new comp (finally!!) its been acting up on me when installing programmes and things, I will inshaAllah once I get all set up start up class’ of one class a week on topic decided by the students more info Vista-permitting!

Duas Requested.

  السَّلامْ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكات

Friendship: Part Four

Men Are Of Three Categories:

One is like food from which no one can be independent.
Another is like medicine which is needed sometimes but not always.

A third man is like a disease which is never needed but with which man is sometimes afflicted.
This man is he in whom there is neither sociability nor benefit.
Kind treatment of him is necessary so as to escape from him. In seeing him, there is great benefit, provided you are helped by Allah to obtain it.
The benefit is that you perceive some of his wickedness and bad deeds and so you avoid them.
Fortunate is he, who is admonished by others; A believer in Allah (al-mumin) is like a mirror of another believer.

Someone asked Esa (alayhis salaam):
“Who has taught you courtesy?” He replied:
“None. Rather I saw the ignorance of the ignorant and so avoided it.”

He (alayhis salaam) has indeed said the truth. If people were to avoid whatever they consider evil in others, they would possess perfect courtesy and need no one to instruct them in it.

Your second task concerning your brethren and friends:
Is to fulfill the duties of friendship and close companionship.
When friendship is established and companionship between your friend and you exists; certain duties become incumbent upon you; the tie of friendship makes them incumbent. In carrying out these duties, certain rules have to be followed. The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“Two persons who have become brethren by the acceptance of Islam are like two hands washing each other”

The Prophet  (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) once entered a thicket and and picked up two tooth-sticks (siwaak) one of which was crooked and the other straight. He gave the straight one to a certain companion of his who was with him and kept the crooked one for himself. His companion said,
“Messenger of Allah (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) You deserve the straight one more than I.”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) replied:
“Anyone who becomes a companion of another, even for only an hour of the day, will most certainly be asked (on the day of judgement) as to whether, in his companionship, he has fulfilled or neglected the duties set by Allah.”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) further said:
“Of two persons who keep company with each other, the more beloved to Allah is certainly he who is more kind to his companion.”

InshaAllah continue with the duties of friendship soon.

Duas Requested

Ma’assalam

Friendship: Part Three

Fourth Quality: Absence of Greed

Do not be the companion of a greedy man. Companionship of a man greedy for the world is deadly poison; for human nature is such that the nature of one man tends to resemble that of another and to initiate it; indeed, a man’s nature steals qualities of another man’s nature in such a way that he is not aware of it.
Therefore, association with a greedy man will increase your greed, and association with those who practice self discipline will increase your discipline.

Fifth Quality: Truthfulness

Do not be the companion of a liar, for he is like the mirage: he will show that which is remote near to you and that which is near remote from you.

Perhaps these five qualities do not cease to exist in those who dwell in academic institutions and mosques (i.e the intellectuals and the devotees).
You must do one of two things:
Either you adopt solitude and loneliness, for in it lies your safety.
Or you live in society, but your association with your fellow men will be proportionate with their qualities.

You Must Know That Brotherhood Is Of Three Kinds:

1. A brother is good for you in the hereafter, so that you will observe him only the religious quality;
2. A brother is good for you in this world, so that you will observe in him only good character; and
3. A brother is a sociable companion, so that you must avoid his evil, disturbance and wickedness.

Continue soon inshaAllah …

Duas Requested

Ma’assalam 

Friendship: Part Two

Continuing on with the 5 Five Qualities Of Friendship:

Quality Two: Good Character 

Do not be the companion of a man whose character is bad.
He is one who is unable to control himself when he is angry and is excited when he desires something.
‘Alqamah al-’Ataridi (RahimuAllah Alayh) gathered together the traits of good character in his will which he gave to his son at the time of his death. He said in that will:

“Dear son, when you want the companionship of a man, be the companion of him who will preserve you when you employ him in your service, will adorn you if you are his companion, and will supply you with provisions when your provisions are not sufficient.

Be the companion of a man who will consider you truthful when you speak, will assist you and help you if you desire anything and try for it, and will give you way if you both dispute on any matter.

Ali (RadhiyAllahu Anhu) said:
“Your  true friend is he who is always with you,  and he who harms himself in order to help you, and he who, when calamities of the time break you, scatters his cloth in order to save you.” “

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Quality Three: Righteousness 

Do not be the companion of a wicked man (a fasiq; a transgressor) who persists in major sin.
This is because he who fears Allah does not persist in major sin,  and he who does not fear Allah may cause you mischief; indeed his attitude towards you will change with the changes in his luck and conditions. Allah commanded His Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassalam):

“Do not follow him whose mind We have caused to be neglectful of remembrance of Us and who follows his passions, and whose case exceeds all bounds” (Quran 18:28)

Beware, then of associating with a wicked man, because the constant sight of wickedness and sin will remove the dislike of sin from your mind and will create the feeling that sin is something light.

The sinfulness of backbiting has become light to man’s mind for this reason and not for the reason that the mind cannot understand it.

If people see that a muslim jurist is wearing a gold ring or silk cloth, they strongly oppose it because they rarely see this, whereas they do not oppose backbiting even though it is a more serious sin, because they always see this.

May Allah instill in all of us these characteristics and grant us friendships that bloom in this world and the hereafter. (Ameen)

Duas Requested

Ma’assalam