Stolen Post

Assalamualaykum

Radiant Light stole a post from Mr Espy…

On Marriage (clickety click here to be transported)

Here is an exerpt

Hadhrat Asma (may Allah be pleased with her) said to her daughter at the time of her marriage:

“You are going to spend such a life where you shall have to live long and you are going to the bed of such a person who you have no acquaintance. You are going to love one with whom you had no love before.

Make for him such a world, which will be heaven for you, prepare for him such a bed, which will be a pillar for you.

Be such a slave for him that he may become your slave.

Don’t go willingly to him, lest you become to him an object of hatred.

Don’t remain far from him, lest he may forget you. When he remains near you, be near him, when he stays distant from you save your nose, ears and eyes.

Let him not get from you except sweet smiles. Let him not hear from you except sweet words. Let him not see in you except beauty”

Ihya Uloom Din

Considering the best questions anybody ever seems to want to ask me these days are about marriage :P, thought this would be beneficial for all inshaAllah.

Also read the other posts on Mr Espy’s blog, specifically the ones relating to how fiqh ahnaaf reaches all the way back to Rasool Allah here’s the link:

Ahnaf Begininng and Ending - Clickety click here once again!

Duas Requested

Ma’assalam

Friendship: Final Part

السَّلامْ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكات

To Conclude:

The Duties of Friendship Are:

1. To help the friend financially even when one needs money for oneself. If this is not possible, one should help the friend with one’s surplus wealth at the time of his need. One should also assist him in his needs spontaneously, before he seeks assistance.

2. To hide his secrets, and to conceal his faults.

3. Not to convey to him others’ disdain for him thereby making him unhappy. Rather convey to him others’ praises of him, thereby pleasing him.

4. To listen to him with full attention when he speaks and not to argue with him.

5. To call him with the name which he likes the most, to praise him by mentioning his deeds that one knows, and to express gratitude to him in his presence for the good deeds that he has done.

6. To defend the friend in his absence when aspersions are cast on his good repute, as one defends oneself.

7. To admonish him with kindness and in ambiguous terms when he needs admonition.

8. To forgive his faults and errors and not to blame him.

9. In one’s solitude, to pray for the friend during his lifetime and also after his death.

10. To take care of a friend’s wife and his other relatives after his death.

11. To choose to make things easy for the friend; so one will not charge him with the meeting of any of one’s needs.

12. To give rest to his mind by removing causes of distress.

13. To express joy at all his delights, and to express sorrow at all unwanted things which happen to him, and to keep in mind that feeling for him which has been expressed to him so that one becomes truthful in ones friendships, both secretly and openly.

14. To greet the friend first when he approaches, to make room for him, to come out from the house to receive him, to see him off when he leaves, to keep silent when he speaks until he completes his conversation, and not to interrupt him when speaking.

In short: One is to behave with one’s friend just as one would like him to behave with you.
The brotherhood (Friendship) of a man who does not want for his brother what he wants for himself is hypocrisy (Nifaq) and is an evil for him in this world and the hereafter.

Next  up : The etiquette’s with the acquaintances.

 Apologies for the delay in posting and replying to comments (via email), my email’s been acting funny and not letting me send mail.
Also got a new comp (finally!!) its been acting up on me when installing programmes and things, I will inshaAllah once I get all set up start up class’ of one class a week on topic decided by the students :) more info Vista-permitting!

Duas Requested.

  السَّلامْ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكات

Friendship: Part Four

Men Are Of Three Categories:

One is like food from which no one can be independent.
Another is like medicine which is needed sometimes but not always.

A third man is like a disease which is never needed but with which man is sometimes afflicted.
This man is he in whom there is neither sociability nor benefit.
Kind treatment of him is necessary so as to escape from him. In seeing him, there is great benefit, provided you are helped by Allah to obtain it.
The benefit is that you perceive some of his wickedness and bad deeds and so you avoid them.
Fortunate is he, who is admonished by others; A believer in Allah (al-mumin) is like a mirror of another believer.

Someone asked Esa (alayhis salaam):
“Who has taught you courtesy?” He replied:
“None. Rather I saw the ignorance of the ignorant and so avoided it.”

He (alayhis salaam) has indeed said the truth. If people were to avoid whatever they consider evil in others, they would possess perfect courtesy and need no one to instruct them in it.

Your second task concerning your brethren and friends:
Is to fulfill the duties of friendship and close companionship.
When friendship is established and companionship between your friend and you exists; certain duties become incumbent upon you; the tie of friendship makes them incumbent. In carrying out these duties, certain rules have to be followed. The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“Two persons who have become brethren by the acceptance of Islam are like two hands washing each other”

The Prophet  (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) once entered a thicket and and picked up two tooth-sticks (siwaak) one of which was crooked and the other straight. He gave the straight one to a certain companion of his who was with him and kept the crooked one for himself. His companion said,
“Messenger of Allah (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) You deserve the straight one more than I.”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) replied:
“Anyone who becomes a companion of another, even for only an hour of the day, will most certainly be asked (on the day of judgement) as to whether, in his companionship, he has fulfilled or neglected the duties set by Allah .”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) further said:
“Of two persons who keep company with each other, the more beloved to Allah is certainly he who is more kind to his companion.”

InshaAllah continue with the duties of friendship soon.

Duas Requested

Ma’assalam

Friendship: Part Three

Fourth Quality: Absence of Greed

Do not be the companion of a greedy man. Companionship of a man greedy for the world is deadly poison; for human nature is such that the nature of one man tends to resemble that of another and to initiate it; indeed, a man’s nature steals qualities of another man’s nature in such a way that he is not aware of it.
Therefore, association with a greedy man will increase your greed, and association with those who practice self discipline will increase your discipline.

Fifth Quality: Truthfulness

Do not be the companion of a liar, for he is like the mirage: he will show that which is remote near to you and that which is near remote from you.

Perhaps these five qualities do not cease to exist in those who dwell in academic institutions and mosques (i.e the intellectuals and the devotees).
You must do one of two things:
Either you adopt solitude and loneliness, for in it lies your safety.
Or you live in society, but your association with your fellow men will be proportionate with their qualities.

You Must Know That Brotherhood Is Of Three Kinds:

1. A brother is good for you in the hereafter, so that you will observe him only the religious quality;
2. A brother is good for you in this world, so that you will observe in him only good character; and
3. A brother is a sociable companion, so that you must avoid his evil, disturbance and wickedness.

Continue soon inshaAllah …

Duas Requested

Ma’assalam 

Leadership: Some Advice

I was once gave a short speech on confidence and the need to be strong leaders, I remembered it when someone bought up how I shouldn’t care so much about their feelings.
I said in this speech (It was one of those inspirational moments where the words are just from Allah )

Be Harsh Enough So That You May Lead
Yet Be, Soft Enough So That You May Care
Combine These Qualities With Fear and Tawaqul Upon Allah ,
And You Will Become the Strongest Of Leaders Out There.

Be Harsh enough that you are heard, respected and followed.
Be soft enough to show that there is no pride in your position, and that you are on level to care about those whom you are leading.
Remember your position is from Allah and for Allah , so even if you are offended by those you lead, or your feelings are hurt, what better cure is there than turning and having tawaqul upon Allah .
Do not begrudge those who hurt you; as you are their leader hence a mother figure for them.
Care enough about other peoples feelings as you’d want your own to be cared for, as Allah will forgive all of His rights but not that which we have done upon another servant of His, and from the worst of those is hurting someones feelings.

What Is A Teacher?

Asslamaualaykum WaRahmatuAllah

My umm (mum) was advising me and my brother (we’re both teachers):

“A teacher only has full rights over students, when that teacher wakes up for tahujjud and prays (makes dua) for their students, as a parent makes dua for their child, the teacher is a guardian of their students.
So stand up in qiyaam like the Prophet Muhammad (saw) did for his ummah, for the ulema (people of knowledge) are the waaritheen (inheritors) of the Prophet (saw), and Allah has put the spreading of His deen in the hands of the people of knowledge.”

WaAlaykumAssalam WaRahmatuAllah

Simple Yet So Complex

Assalamualaykum Wa RahmatuAllah

From the Wise Sayings of Luqman

“If you’re in prayer, take care of your heart;

If you’re eating, take care of your throat;

If you’re in another man’s house, take care of your eyes;

If you are among people, take care of your tongue.

Remember two matters and forget two matters:

Remember Allah and death;

Forget any good that you have done to another and any evil that was done to you by another.”

The Ultimate DUH! Realisation.

“A Teacher affects eternity. He can never tell where his influence stops”

“Teaching is not a lost art. But the regard for it is a lost tradition”

Assalamualaykum WaRahmatuAllah;

So whilst teaching the other day I had the Ultimate “DUH” moment …

I’ve been teaching kids for 2 years minus a few weeks now … Alhumdulillah

So one of my beloved little students who’s 5 has been with me since learning the arabic alphabet from Alif Baa, now MashaAllah she’s on Juzz Amma with complete fluent recitation and a good grasp on tajweed, SubhanAllah the amount of effort this little girl puts in is amazing, when she doesn’t know her dars I can just tell, cos she comes in to class in tears.

Now you can say she cries cos she’s afraid I’ll shout, Unfortunately that isn’t the case, I’m apparently the biggest walk over teacher.
But she cries cos she feels she’s let me and her self down. SubhanAllah I love this child!

I ask her why she comes into class crying:

Child: Apa I dont know my dars
Me: Its ok, you know I won’t shout, let me help you learn it.
Child: No apa its not that, Its because I dont like it when I don’t know it.

SubhanAllah! This love for learning Quran is becoming very rare, How the child finds happiness in every page they advance in Quran.

I ask the child, what do you wish to become when you grow older? She says I want to become and Apa like you.

That bought me to tears … such innocence and love for teaching deen!

That bought on the “DUH” moment …
I thought I have taught this child from alphabet through to Quran, now each time she recites Quran, reads salah all the ajr comes back to me. And she wants to go on to teach so the line is infinite … Woooooooooooaaaaah!

SubhanAllah, We all know teaching is a sadaqah jariyyah but this time the realisation actually caught up with me in real time.

Alhumdulillah! I make dua to Allah that he bless’ each one of my students and the muslimeen with the love of deen, love for the Quran. May Allah grant them barakah in their lives so they may grow up to work for his deen.
May Allah instill in me in the correct adaab, so that I may teach them in the correct manner, and May He forgive me for my shortcomings.

Duas Requested for Me and My students.

WaAlaykumAssalam WaRahmatuAllah

HOW TO AVOID STRESS!

HOW TO AVOID STRESS!

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary
purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Quraan with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good “Thank you God.”

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people they probably need it the most.

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before.
GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
“If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Those Spiteful People!

و من الشَقاوة أن تحبَ
و من تحبُ يحبُ غيرك
أو أن تريد الخير للأن
سان و هو يريد ضيرك

“And from misery is that you love,
and (the one) who you love, loves other than you,
or that you want good for a person,
and he wants to hurt you”.

(Imam Shafaee RH)

Assalamualaykum WaRahmatuAllah

I’ve often come to realise that people can mistake your true intentions. The time that it hurts the most is when you’re being truly sincere and you wish only good for that person or you wish to be only sincere with them, but they retaliate in such a manor that they end up hurting you. It does kinda take alot out of you.

One thing which always has to be remembered, and I try to keep a constant reminder of it, is the ayah in Surah Yunus where Allah (swt) states that No hurt can come besides from Allah , and only he can remove it.

Everything in life is an experience. Like the Hadith says that A muslim never falls into the same hole twice. Basically we learn from our first mistake, even falling into a hole teaches us lessons, going through life we’re bound to fall in holes everywhere, its the experience of life, the experience that carves our character and makes us who we are. So if we go through life avoiding those holes, when we fall into a major one, we won’t have the experience of how to handle it.

So be thankful for every little thing. Even the people in life who seem to set out to just hurt you. Its all a learning experience and you can only rise out of it a better person :)

WaAlaykumAssalam