Jan
06
Posted under
Friendship,
Imam ghazzali,
Nasiha,
final part,
nasihah,
part 5 السَّلامْ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكات
To Conclude:
The Duties of Friendship Are:
- To help the friend financially even when one needs money for oneself. If this is not possible, one should help the friend with one’s surplus wealth at the time of his need. One should also assist him in his needs spontaneously, before he seeks assistance.
- To hide his secrets, and to conceal his faults.
- Not to convey to him others’ disdain for him thereby making him unhappy. Rather convey to him others’ praises of him, thereby pleasing him.
- To listen to him with full attention when he speaks and not to argue with him.
- To call him with the name which he likes the most, to praise him by mentioning his deeds that one knows, and to express gratitude to him in his presence for the good deeds that he has done.
- To defend the friend in his absence when aspersions are cast on his good repute, as one defends oneself.
- To admonish him with kindness and in ambiguous terms when he needs admonition.
- To forgive his faults and errors and not to blame him.
- In one’s solitude, to pray for the friend during his lifetime and also after his death.
- To take care of a friend’s wife and his other relatives after his death.
- To choose to make things easy for the friend; so one will not charge him with the meeting of any of one’s needs.
- To give rest to his mind by removing causes of distress.
- To express joy at all his delights, and to express sorrow at all unwanted things which happen to him, and to keep in mind that feeling for him which has been expressed to him so that one becomes truthful in ones friendships, both secretly and openly.
- To greet the friend first when he approaches, to make room for him, to come out from the house to receive him, to see him off when he leaves, to keep silent when he speaks until he completes his conversation, and not to interrupt him when speaking.
In short: One is to behave with one’s friend just as one would like him to behave with you.
The brotherhood (Friendship) of a man who does not want for his brother what he wants for himself is hypocrisy (Nifaq) and is an evil for him in this world and the hereafter.
Next up : The etiquette’s with the acquaintances.
Apologies for the delay in posting and replying to comments (via email), my email’s been acting funny and not letting me send mail.
Also got a new comp (finally!!) its been acting up on me when installing programmes and things, I will inshaAllah once I get all set up start up class’ of one class a week on topic decided by the students :) more info Vista-permitting!
Duas Requested.
السَّلامْ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكات
Jan
04
Posted under
Friendship,
Imam ghazzali,
Nasiha,
nasihah,
part four Men Are Of Three Categories:
One is like food from which no one can be independent.
Another is like medicine which is needed sometimes but not always.
A third man is like a disease which is never needed but with which man is sometimes afflicted.
This man is he in whom there is neither sociability nor benefit.
Kind treatment of him is necessary so as to escape from him. In seeing him, there is great benefit, provided you are helped by Allah 
to obtain it.
The benefit is that you perceive some of his wickedness and bad deeds and so you avoid them.
Fortunate is he, who is admonished by others; A believer in Allah (al-mumin) is like a mirror of another believer.
Someone asked Esa (alayhis salaam):
“Who has taught you courtesy?” He replied:
“None. Rather I saw the ignorance of the ignorant and so avoided it.”
He (alayhis salaam) has indeed said the truth. If people were to avoid whatever they consider evil in others, they would possess perfect courtesy and need no one to instruct them in it.
Your second task concerning your brethren and friends:
Is to fulfill the duties of friendship and close companionship.
When friendship is established and companionship between your friend and you exists; certain duties become incumbent upon you; the tie of friendship makes them incumbent. In carrying out these duties, certain rules have to be followed. The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“Two persons who have become brethren by the acceptance of Islam are like two hands washing each other”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) once entered a thicket and and picked up two tooth-sticks (siwaak) one of which was crooked and the other straight. He gave the straight one to a certain companion of his who was with him and kept the crooked one for himself. His companion said,
“Messenger of Allah (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) You deserve the straight one more than I.”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) replied:
“Anyone who becomes a companion of another, even for only an hour of the day, will most certainly be asked (on the day of judgement) as to whether, in his companionship, he has fulfilled or neglected the duties set by Allah .”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) further said:
“Of two persons who keep company with each other, the more beloved to Allah is certainly he who is more kind to his companion.”
InshaAllah continue with the duties of friendship soon.
Duas Requested
Ma’assalam
Jan
01
Posted under
Friendship,
Imam ghazzali,
Nasiha,
nasihah,
part three Fourth Quality: Absence of Greed
Do not be the companion of a greedy man. Companionship of a man greedy for the world is deadly poison; for human nature is such that the nature of one man tends to resemble that of another and to initiate it; indeed, a man’s nature steals qualities of another man’s nature in such a way that he is not aware of it.
Therefore, association with a greedy man will increase your greed, and association with those who practice self discipline will increase your discipline.
Fifth Quality: Truthfulness
Do not be the companion of a liar, for he is like the mirage: he will show that which is remote near to you and that which is near remote from you.
Perhaps these five qualities do not cease to exist in those who dwell in academic institutions and mosques (i.e the intellectuals and the devotees).
You must do one of two things:
Either you adopt solitude and loneliness, for in it lies your safety.
Or you live in society, but your association with your fellow men will be proportionate with their qualities.
You Must Know That Brotherhood Is Of Three Kinds:
- A brother is good for you in the hereafter, so that you will observe him only the religious quality;
- A brother is good for you in this world, so that you will observe in him only good character; and
- A brother is a sociable companion, so that you must avoid his evil, disturbance and wickedness.
Continue soon inshaAllah …
Duas Requested
Ma’assalam
Dec
31
Posted under
etiquette of class,
kids,
madrassah rules,
nasihah Assalamualaykum warahmatuAllah
As requested by k-swiss :)
The key word is RESPECT.
YOU respect ME and I’ll respect you.
You come to madrassah to learn and I come to teach.
You can’t learn from me nor can I teach you if you do not pay attention to what I ask or respect my wishes of classroom behaviour.
Respect for where you are.
You are sitting within a masjid, which is the house of Allah .
You are in the company of thousands of angels at all times.
When you come into the masjid the angels and Allah are happy with you, but if you do not respect the masjid, and you disrespect the house of Allah by doing things such as talking very loudly, being rude or not keeping the classroom clean, the angels get angry and so does Allah and instead of getting reward you are sinning and like that you won’t learn anything.
So learn to obey the rules of a masjid;
Do not talk loudly or about worldly things such as TV.
Talk nicely to everyone and respect all those you are around.
Keep the masjid clean.
Respect for the teacher
The teacher is taking out her time to come and help you learn.
If you keep the teacher happy by respecting her, you will see that you will be happier to learn.
In Islam a teacher has a status like a parent; how you listen to them you must listen to him/her.
You must at all times respect the teacher. If you hurt the teachers’ feelings by not listening to him/ her or answering back, you will make Allah very angry and not learn anything.
If the teacher says be quiet, stay quiet, if you must speak raise your hand to ask permission, and wait until the teacher has finished with the pupil he/she is dealing with first.
If you must speak to another pupil firstly ask the teachers permission, if she gives you the permission; speak quietly, so you do not disturb those around you.
Learn to respect you teacher and he/she will respect you, and you will automatically see that he/she is happy to teach you.
Respect for your books.
Your books are like teachers also.
Don’t throw them about or lean on them, as they have Allah ’s name in them.
They are helping you learn so you must respect them at all times also.
Do not doodle in them; would you doodle in something that is valuable to you?
Respect for fellow students.
Once again the main rule: respect others and you will be respected is the most important thing.
If someone is smaller than you have mercy on them like Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassalam) has said.
If someone is older than you respect them, even if they are only older by a few days or months.
Do not be nasty to anyone as this is not what Muslims do, always try and be kind to everyone, even the people you don’t like.
If someone is nasty to you, do not be nasty back to them, instead say to them I forgive you and walk away, this will make you the better person and remember Allah and His angels are watching you always, this will make them very happy with you.
If they carry on being nasty, or bullying you tell the teacher immediately.
Remember never lie, even if the truth is against you. Your teacher will respect you more for saying the truth, than lying to him/her. If you say the truth and have to face punishment you will be rewarded, but if you lie Allah knows and you will be punished when you go by Him.
Punishment for Breaking Rules
As Allah has said that we will be punished for breaking Islamic rules in this world and that we could end up in hell fire. In the same way if madrassah rules are broken you will be punished (insert suitable punishment)
Note for teachers’: When implementing these rules do not tell the children the rules instead sit with them as though you are giving naseehah, if they have questions answer them. At first you may have to strictly implement them, be forgiving (tell them you are forgiving them as Allah says it is better to do) but also be slightly harsh, let them off once or twice with naseehah. If rules are continuously disregarded you must carry out the punishment (yes I know it can hurt as heck especially if a kid cries that he doesn’t want to go to the principal’s office!) but unless the children have example that you will carry out punishment they will not take you seriously (hai kids these days!)
Also respect these children as young adults not kids, I know even if they are only 6!
But kids these days grow much quicker and they seem to think they are little adults, do not patronize them, but explain with love and care.
Even if you think something they ask or do is silly, do not laugh at them or put them down instead explain to them, as putting them down would discourage from further questioning and the main part to a teacher student – teacher relationship is the ability to talk freely.
InshaAllah that helps any questions you know where I’m at :)
Duas Requested
Ma’assalam
