Firstly apologies for the lack of original posts, just been busy with things.
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I’ve been trying for the past few months to concentrate on essential self tarbiyah, mostly purification of the heart.
Its been an interesting time, learning how to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and completely trying to keep the heart free from ill feeling towards anybody, even those who seem to deliberately set out to hurt or screw you over.

Trying to abide by these simple rules;

“Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little. Give much, smile often, pray always to Allah . Fill your life with love. Treat people as you’d like to be treated by them.”

Hatred is an emotion of intense revulsion, distaste, enmity, or antipathy for a person, thing, or phenomenon, generally attributed to a desire to avoid, restrict, remove, or destroy the hated object. Hatred is also among the most common emotions that humans experience. It can be based on fear of an object or past negative consequences of dealing with that object.

The way I’ve come to see it though is that this feeling of hate what does it give a person? Does it benefit anyone in anyway? Think long and hard, for years all hate has caused is hurt,pain and conflict!
I would say just solely freeing a heart from hatred for any type of thing gives it a freedom like no other.
In the words of a quote a dear friend of mine loves saying;

“Why should we hate when there isn’t enough time for loving!”

2.Free your mind from worry.

What is worry?

Worry refers to negative self-talk that often distracts the mind from focusing on the problem at hand. For example, when students become anxious during a test, they may repeatedly tell themselves they are going to fail, or they can’t remember the material or that their teacher will get mad at them. This thinking interferes with focusing on the test as the speech areas of the brain that are needed to complete test questions are being used for worrying.

So whats the use in worrying?
Worry makes you lose focus, it keeps you preoccupied that you have to do something, and you never get round to actually doing these things.
Having firm emaan helps get rid of worry, belief that all things good and bad are from Allah , we shouldn’t worry. Get on with life, believe in Allah and He will look after you.

3. Live simply expect little. Give Much.

This in itself is a very simple sentence, yet why is it so hard to implement?

Simplicity is the property, condition, or quality of being simple or un-combined. It often denotes beauty, purity or clarity. Simple things are usually easier to explain and understand than complicated ones. Simplicity can mean freedom from hardship, effort or confusion

Need I say more, the above says it all. When living simply it frees the mind, because the more of a complex life and materialistic life one tries to live, it takes over the mind and leaves it at un-rest all the time.

Expect less … Firstly in this I would say never expect gratitude from anybody, when you do some-thing for some-one never expect a thank you or kind action back in return. Not expecting things means that you are not leaving any part of you open to hurt or disappointment should it not come to be.

4. Smile often, pray always to Allah .

Smile : Click Here

Prayer to Allah should be a constant thing, not a default when all things go wrong, every day, even for 10-15 minutes, we should take the time to talk to Allah . Thank him for all that is good and make dua for the not so good.
He is always there listening, we may forget him, but he never forgets us.
Turn to Allah and witness the difference it makes!

4. Fill your life with love.

Love on its own has no straight up definition.
But Love is a bond which connects people, where there is sincerity in actions and speech.
Firstly our lives must be filled with love of Allah and His Messenger (saw), all our actions in the path of Allah sincere.
Then love for those whom Allah has bestowed love upon us with, our families.
Family (Mothers,fathers, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters), these are the people who should have first priority in our lives.
Knowing your life is filled with love, gives a sense of security that even if all else fails you have people to turn to that even if they may not be able to help you materialistically but they will always help and support you emotionally.

A man is carved by the relationships he holds with those most dear to him.

If he treats those whom he loves coldly then what hope is there for others?

5. Treat people as you would like to be treated by them.

Imagine if you made a mistake, and for that one thing you did you were hated forever.
As you would not like this done to you never do it to another person.
Learn to forgive and put things in the past, remember 70 excuses for a Muslim.
Its normal, people will hurt you, but why give satisfaction that they have bought you down. Be the better one and move on making dua for them.
Remember all is pre-destined by Allah and we never know what things in life no matter how small or big they will be, could be our test.

Always learn to help people, even if you don’t particularly like the person or people or its a task you do not like. Put the dislike behind and do it, for you never know that when you help some one whose dua could help you in the long run.

Alhumdulillah though, I have to say the freedom the heart feels is amazing, we know that all is pre-destined, yet have we realised it.
When we realise and live this fact is when no-matter what happens to us doesn’t phase us, We learn to thank Allah for all the good, and make dua to him during the times or trial.
Even when things go down hill and don’t work out how we want, we know that it is all in Allah ’s master plan, that he has some-thing better planned, and our continuous prayers to him help ease the pain as we know he is always there listening.

In need of your constant duas always.

WaAlaykumAssalam WaRahmatuAllah