Their speech is truthful; their clothing is moderate; and they walk with utmost humility. They lower their gaze from everything Allah has forbidden. They allow their ears to listen only to that which is beneficial. Their souls accept exposure to trials and tribulations as easily as others accept luxurious living.

Were it not for their appointed term, their spirits would not have remained in their bodies the span of a twinkling of the eye due to their intense longing for their Lord. Because the Creator is magnified in their souls, everything else is viewed as insignificant in their sight. Their hearts are sober; people are safe from any wickedness from them; their bodies are slim [they don’t overindulge their
appetites]; their basic needs are few; and their souls are chaste. They patiently endure the few days they spend in this world knowing that they will be followed by a long, peaceful rest—this is the profitable life-transaction which their Lord has allowed them to enter into. The worlddesired them; however, they had no desire for it. It imprisoned them, but they ransomed their souls from it [with their restraint and righteous deeds].

At night, their feet are arranged in ranks as they dutifully recite the Qur’an in slow measured tones. If they come upon a verse that stimulates [in them] longing [for the delightful things which Allah has promised] they ponder it,craving to attain them. Their souls soar due to the intensity of their longing for those delights. If they come upon a verse that frightens them [with the threat of Allah ’s dreadful punishment] they hear it reverberating in the depths of their hearts. They imagine that they hear the dreadful sounds of the Hellfire in the innermost recesses of their ears. You find them kneeling down [before their Lord], begging to be liberated from the Hellfire.

As for their days, they are forbearing, clement scholars. They are righteous and pious. Fear [of Allah ] surrounds them, piercing them like arrows. One who gazes upon them thinks that they are sick. However, they are far from being sick. They are not satisfied with a minimal amount of righteous deeds, nor do they consider excessive amount of worship to be great. They see their faults, and they fear that their deeds
won’t be accepted. If someone praises one of them, he says, “I know myself better than others [know me], and my Lord is more knowledgeable of me than myself. O Allah , don’t take me to task for what they say, and make me better than what they think of me, and forgive me for those sins which they are unaware of.”

One of the signs [of such a person] is that you observe strength in his religion. His gentleness is accompanied by sobriety. His faith is coupled with certainty. He longs for knowledge. He acts with forbearance. He lives moderately, even when blessed with wealth. He is humble in his worship. He endures poverty with dignified grace. He patiently endures trying circumstances. He seeks his sustenance from the lawful. He hastens to right guidance. He is agitated if he perceives greed in himself. He works righteousness all the while trembling, [fearing that his deeds won’t be accepted]. His greatest concern is gratitude. He arises in the morn preoccupied with the Remembrance of God. He goes to bed at night overwhelmed, apprehensive. He rises in the morning overjoyed. His apprehension arises from the awareness of his heedlessness. His joy is caused by the bounties and mercy Allah has showered upon him. If his soul presses him with something he despises, he does not concede [to it] and withholds from it what it desires. The comfort of his eye is that which cannot be eradicated [the reward of his righteous deeds]. His abstinence is from temporal things. He mixes clemency with knowledge, and speech with action. He expects death at any moment. His slips are few [because of his cautiousness and deliberateness in speech and actions]. His heart is content. He is easy-going. He is constantly on guard against assaults upon his religion. His lusts are dead. His anger is suppressed.

People anticipate goodness from him. They are safe from any wickedness from him. If he is in the company of the heedless, he is recorded as being mindful [of his Lord]. He overlooks those who oppress him. He gives to those who deny him. He joins relations with those who cut him off. He is far removed from any indecency. His speech is gentle. You find nothing bad in him. He is always a source of good. During calamities, he is composed. In dire straights, he is patient. In times of ease, he is thankful. He does not oppress those he dislikes, nor does he sin for the sake of those he loves. He admits the truth before his witnessing is sought. He preserves all he is entrusted with. He does not hurl abusive names at people. He never harms his neighbor, nor does he insult people when he is experiencing hardship. If he is transgressed against, he perseveres
until Allah takes revenge for him. He relies on himself while he himself is a source of relief for others [they can rely on him]. He tires himself for the sake of his salvation, not burdening others in any way. His distance from those who remove themselves from him is a form of abstinence, while his drawing near to people is from his gentleness and mercy. Hence, his distance from people does not arise from arrogance and haughtiness, nor is his closeness to them motivated by cunning and treachery.

Hearing this, Hum¥m dropped dead. Imam AlÏ  said, “This is what I feared would happen to him.”
-From Nahj al-Bal¥gh¥

Translated by Imam Zaid Shakir, Zaytuna Institute (Ramadan 1426/2005)

by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend. She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears.
When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says:

“…they are Libas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them - as in the verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari] for you and you are the same for them….”[Surah Al-Baqarah: 187]

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala,

“And Allah has made for you Azwaj (mates or wives) of your own kind…”
[Surah An-Nahl: 72]

Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur’an,

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and he has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that aare indeed signs for a people who reflect.”
[Surah Ar-Rum: 21]

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond
away from rusting and disintegrating.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife.”

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel. Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallam said “the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don’t be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife’s parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her “I don’t like your parents.” Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said ” I don’t like yours either”… Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believethere is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses, “Enter Paradise, you and your wives in happiness.” [Surah Az-Zukhruf: 70] and offsprings.