The BAM from Allah

Posted under Dawah, Seeds by Radiant Light

One who represents any stage of the truth must try to embody it with honesty, trustworthiness, consciousness of duty, a high degree of perception, awareness of circumstances, far-sightedness, and absolute chastity. People who hold high office but lack one or more of these virtues must be seen as having one or more serious defects. This is a clear misfortune for those who follow them.

My dear even in emaan we have our highs and lows, so that we can appreciate the highs and learn from them. We have the lows so that we can appreciate the highs and put into action what we have learnt in the highs.

Assalamualaykum;

Have you ever just been sitting, I don’t Know surfing the net, reading, or doing some-thing that you’re content with, something that’s keeping your mind off all the little tid bits that are usually flying around in your head. And then BHAM, something hits you … kills your mood and sends you in frenzy again.

SubhanAllah that happened to me today, well I should say right now.
Here I was checking out Hadithuna and random blog jumping to kill some time before zuhur salah (yeah I know I could use my time a little more appropriately, but my heads fried from working on the children’s seerah), anyway back to the point. I was blog jumping and some-thing somewhere on hadithuna hit me; it kind of opened an already salted wound (you don’t really expect me to tell you exactly what now do you).

It caused me to think though … that often in life we get a few bams in our faces, they usually are good reminders to get back on track or maybe to make you focus at the things at hand.
So this time I was like ok … what am I missing and where am I going wrong?

Looking back the last few years haven’t exactly been easy, due to a different array of things.
They’ve been years of trials, mistakes and learning, but khair Insha’Allah , we learn from our experiences and aspire to become better :-)

As of late though, I’ve been a little dazed, not being able to put my thoughts straight and concentration levels have dropped way below zero along with the patience levels!
Trying to pin point exactly why and when this happened was difficult, but I could roughly point to an event or should I say a series of events that occurred.

First it was the end of term teaching … Ya Allah …the thought brings back shivers.
My approach to teaching makhtab (children’s madrassah) is slightly different from that of most of the madrassahs around me. I prefer to have a one on one relationship with students, and open environment, not of stoned silence but of learning and understanding for each other. I take the syllabus and usually twist it to make it slightly more inetresting to learn and I aim to befriend my pupils rather than be the “teacher”, and of course this isn’t without its ups and downs … the usual walking over etc.
My students are a bunch of humorous little kids full of stories and crazy quack ideas.
But come end of term time when they’ve learnt quite allot and it comes to putting it to the test on paper or by practical examination … they seem to test my patience to levels beyond any meter!
It’s at these times that I think … why I can’t just take the age old approach of the strict makhtab teacher with a stick!
Along with this there was chaos in my personal life … So the mixture of it all took its entire toll on me, causing me to want to totally shut down.
My love for teaching seemed to have apparated somewhere and also my zeal for dawah and being upbeat all the time.

It seemed everything and everyone was getting to me.

Until one day I sat down … and had a conversation with Allah , This I got to say is quite a relaxing method. I recommend it to all, Its kind of like blogging but how I tend to keep my personal life out of blogging; its easier and you know for a fact that some-one is listening (Allah ) … You can either talk it out or write it out.

So I sat and thought … things which you already know seem to take on a different meaning when you actually think about them and realise their true meanings.

The ayaat of the Quraan ” We do not burden any soul but to what they can bear” and “Allah is enough for us and in him do we trust”
These ayaats are used everyday but the reality is how much do we truly believe in them?

My lesson that I gained was that we can be good at combating single battles one at a time and keeping our eman strong and keeping a positive outlook.

But is our emaan strong enough to survive a war, where you’re being bombarded left right and centre?

We are all on a learning journey; we are equipped with emaan and ilm. They are not 2 separate categories but rather joint, we have the emaan that we are blessed with instilled within us and ilm is the manual to have this emaan work most efficiently for us.

Reliance solely upon one or the other won’t get us too far.

Insha’Allah I make dua to Allah that we can all attain the highest levels of emaan, and that may He embody in me all that I am required to become an honest and true role model. Ameen

In need of constant duas :-)

WaAlaykumAssalam