Seeds Of Realisation

Part 6

Woman and Awrah

ISSUE 1
It is essential in prayer that a woman has her whole body covered excepting her face, hands up to her wrist and feet up to her ankles. Besides these three parts, if any other part of the body is exposed during prayer, for a period in which it is possible to read SubhanAllah three times then the prayer will break. It is desirable to always cover, even these parts, to be safe from mischief even when not performing prayer.

ISSUE 2
As far as the women are concerned, ghair-immediate family are all those with whom nikâh is allowed under some circumstances e.g. husband’s brothers, sister’s husband, paternal cousin (father’s brother’s son), maternal cousin (mother’s brother’s son). It is forbidden and harâm to uncover any part of her body or to come in the presence of a ghair-immediate family. If all the above is forbidden in the presence of close relatives, then we can imagine how strongly it is prohibited in the presence of outsiders. It is prohibited to sit and talk alone to a ghair-immediate family.

ISSUE 3
A woman should cover her awrah even in the presence of another woman. In this case, the area between the navel and the knees is the limit. A woman should not expose it unnecessarily before a doctor or a midwife. NOTE: Some women do not consider it necessary to cover their awrah in the presence of other women despite it being forbidden. A woman should also not/expose or open her awrah in the presence of non-Muslim women unnecessarily.

Treatment and Awrah

 

ISSUE 1
If medicine is applied during pregnancy on the stomach, etc. by a nurse or midwife, then it is not permissible to expose the portion below the navel; it should be covered with a sheet, etc.

ISSUE 2
A nurse or a midwife can see the area below the navel during birth for the necessary period only. To see beyond that period is prohibited. it is also not permissible for any other woman to see those parts, even though it may be her mother or sister, as there is no need for it. The practice of taking her clothes off during birth in the presence of other women is totally harâm.

ISSUE 3
It is harâm to expose the head to a non-Muslim nurse or midwife because a believing woman can only expose her face and hands up to the wrist as well as her feet up to the ankles to a non-believing woman. It is immaterial whether she is a nurse, noblewoman or a maid. To expose even one hair unnecessarily is improper. It is a practice of some people to call a doctor instead of a nurse. How can it be permissible for a person of the opposite sex to see the ‘awrah’ [private part] of a woman when a person of the same sex is allowed to see the awrah only when the necessity arises? It should also be borne in mind that experienced midwives are easily available, and there is therefore no need for a male doctor.

ISSUE 4
The greater the difference the stricter the rules regarding the awrah. Two believing women are regarded to be of the same nature; therefore, on such occasions, believing women should be engaged, if available, to do this work of a midwife. If not, then only should non-believing women be consulted.

ISSUE 5
When the nose, ear or tooth has to he treated then only the necessary area should be exposed.

ISSUE 6
If the doctor is a immediate family of the patient, then too the back and stomach cannot be exposed unnecessarily. If a wound, etc. has to be treated in these parts, then the actual portion, which has to be treated, can only be exposed. It is not permissible to expose more than that which is necessary.

ISSUE 7
If the doctor is a Muslim lady, then a woman cannot expose the part between the navel and the knees unnecessarily. If some portion thereof has to be treated, then only that particular portion can be exposed, not the whole part.

ISSUE 8
A simple method of keeping the other parts covered is to don some old clothes and to cut off that portion which corresponds with the wound, etc. that has to be treated. The other parts will remain covered by adopting this method, insha-Allah .

The same laws apply to men too. His awrah is between the navel and the knees (the knees are included in the awrah). If the thighs, etc. have to be treated, then the same method as mentioned above should be adopted.

Woman and her Dressing

 

ISSUE 1
It is forbidden for a woman to don such a thin dress that will reveal or expose her hair or parts of her body to a ghair-immediate family. If she does so, she will be considered naked according to the Sharî’ah. She is allowed to do so only in the presence of her husband or immediate family (one she cannot marry) or in such a house where nobody besides her husband or immediate family lives. But she is not allowed to do so the moment she comes in the presence of a ghair-immediate family or the moment she comes out of the house. The design of the dress should be such that other parts, except the three mentioned above, are not revealed. Women, who don dresses, which reveal these parts, are cursed and condemned by the Sharî’ah. Now the believing women can imagine where fashion leads to.

Woman and Hijâb [Veil]

 

ISSUE 1
The law of hijâb requires that the whole female body — from head to feet, including the face be concealed in the presence of ghair-mahariem. A woman should not emerge from the home unnecessarily. If she has to, due to some need, then she should cover her face and body with an outer garment, e.g. burqa, so that the face and shape of the body are not exposed. The wearing of the veil is WÂJIB according to the SHARÎ’AH.

Woman and Hayâ [Modesty]

The modesty of a woman is more important than her physical beauty and shape. In fact, her real worth lies in her modesty. If she is modest then people will like her in every respect and if she is not modest, then she will have no value in the eyes of any respectable man. Even her beauty will have no value. Modesty has been highly regarded in Islâm. In one Hadîth, Rasulullah said:

“Al-hayâ-u-shoabatum minal imân”

[Modesty is a branch of imân].

In another Hadîth it is said:

“Al-hayâ-u-khayrun kûlluhu”

[Modesty is good in every respect.]

A wise man has said:

“Izâ fâtakal hayâ-u faf-al mâshi’ta”

[When you do not have modesty anymore, then do as you please.] In describing the good qualities of a woman, Allah , has placed great importance in the Qur’ân regarding modesty. In one place Allah says:

 

“Qa seratut-tarf”

[Women with downcast eyes].

Faults can be hidden through modesty and if she will expose herself, then her good qualities will also have no value. Therefore, it is very important for her to preserve modesty.

Woman and her Children

The proper upbringing of her children is one of the most important duties of the mother because the mother’s lap and the home environment are the first madressa [school] of the child. The simple truth is that the amount of the mother’s zeal, enthusiasm and eagerness, and the home environment will decide how much good will come into tile child because all this has a great impact oil the child. From the time she is pregnant till she stops breast-feeding, she should remain clean and pure, both outwardly and inwardly. IF, Allah FORBID, THE MOTHER’S THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS ARE BAD, THEN ITS BAD EFFECTS WILL ALSO AFFECT THE CHILD AND IT IS QUITE POSSIBLE THAT THE CHILD MAY COMMIT EVIL ACTS DURING HIS LIFETIME. It is therefore, very important that the mother bring up the child with the fear of Allah , mindful of life after death, good conduct, etc. SHE SHOULD TAKE GREAT CARE NOT TO DO ANY UNDESIRABLE ACT IN FRONT OF THE CHILD thinking that the child does not understand anything. Remember the child will notice and remember it and sooner or later, will expose it. That is why many Ulema have said that the first six years are most important in a child’s life and they determine the future. The Hadîth supports this view too. Never frighten children with dogs, cats, police, etc. because the child develops fear through this. She must protect the child from undesirable company and teach him Allah ’s pâk name when it is still small, help him/her form a habit of performing prayer, send him/her to madressa, teach him/her to respect his/her parents and encourage him/her to give charity. Insha-Allah , all this will make him/her a fine, refined person.

Woman and Obedience to her Husband

Obedience to her husband is the most important thing for a woman. In fact, her wisdom lies n knowing his moods well and acting accordingly. Her life will thus be made very pleasant. The gist of a Hadîth of Rasulullah is that a woman, WHO OFFERS HER PRAYER REGULARLY AND PROPERLY AND OBEYS HER HUSBAND, WILL ENTER JANNAT THROUGH WHICHEVER DOOR SHE PLEASES. As far as the husband - wife relationship is concerned, it should be the object of life for the wife to do everything possible to please the husband and remove his sorrows within the limits of Sharî’ah. If he likes adornment, beautification and elegance then she should do so within limits. She should not spend more than what he earns. She should not be stubborn and should not show dislike for things, which he brings. She should not criticise his relatives. It is unmannerly to become angry with the husband when he is angry and she should look after the household belongings and be particular regarding cleanliness. She should not quarrel with her in-laws. She should always try and serve him when necessary but she should not ask for any service from him. She should regard him as her superior and conduct herself accordingly.

Woman and her Parents

Even after marriage, a woman should keep good relationship with her parents and make their khidmat [service]. She should never go to them without the husband’s permission. She should note two important things:

Firstly, she should not get into the habit of sending things to her parents’ home, even with the husband’s permission, because this will slowly reduce the love and respect of the wife in the husband which will be of great harm to the woman.

 

Secondly, she must try to treat and regard her in-laws like her own parents. This will increase her love, honour and regard in the husband and it will prove very useful and beneficial to her.

Woman and Chastity (Faithfulness)

To protect her chastity is the main quality of a woman as all the other good qualities depend on this. Superficially, she may have plenty of good qualities but, Allah forbid, if she is not chaste and pure, then she is considered absolutely useless in the eyes of the Sharî’ah. In the Qu’rân, Allah describes the floor of Jannat as:

“Lam yatmis-hûnne insun qablahum walâ jân”

[Untouched by any man or jinn]

I do not wish to discuss this subject in greater detail since every woman is supposed to understand its importance and not just talk about it. The gist of a Hadîth is that the most precious belonging of a man in this world is his wife who pleases him a great deal whenever she is in his presence and when he is not present, she looks after herself and his belongings and does not cheat in these two things.

 

 

 

Iddat after Divorce and Separation

 

ISSUE 1
If a woman is divorced or the marriage is broken due to khula or îla [types of divorce] or some other way or if the husband dies, then she should stay in the house for some time and until this time has not passed, she cannot go anywhere nor can she re-marry. This period is called iddat.

ISSUE 2
In case of divorce, she should not leave the husband’s house either during the day or by night nor remarry for three menstruating periods. {According to Imâm Shafi’î R.A. three clean periods.}

ISSUE 3
For a little divorced girl, who does not menstruate as yet or an elderly woman, whose menstruation his stopped, the iddat time is three months.

ISSUE 4
If a woman gets divorced during pregnancy, then she should wait until the child is born. This is the iddat time for her, regardless of when the child is born.

ISSUE 5
If divorce is given during menstruation, then that menstruation period is not counted but another three periods should be allowed to elapse. The husband should remember that it is sinful to give a divorce when she is menstruating. If, however, he divorces her during her menstruation, then he must withdraw the divorce and repeat it if he still considers it necessary when she is pâk. But the talâq given in menstruation is counted in all circumstances. This withdrawal is only permissible for talâq-e-rajie.

ISSUE 6
A woman who receives three talâqs [divorces] or receives one or two talâq-e-bâ’in or if her husband dies, then she should observe mourning during the iddat period. A mourning woman is one who is in grief and sorrow; she should avoid dressing neatly and beautifying herself. A woman, who received talâq-e-rajie, should beautify herself and try to attract her husband towards her in iddat.

Iddat after Husband’s Death

A woman whose husband has died should observe iddat for four months and ten days and should remain in the same house in which she lived at the time of the husband’s death. In the case of a pregnant woman, iddat is over as soon as the child is born and the number of months are not taken into consideration.

Advice

In one Hadîth it has been narrated that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said that he saw many women in Jahannam. When the women asked the reason for this, he said that firstly they have a habit of abusing and taunting and secondly, they are very ungrateful to their husbands. When it has been found that the tongue can lead her to Jahannam, then she should make all effort to control it and should not abuse and taunt; she should not be ungrateful to the husband. ONE HABIT WHICH WOMEN COMMONLY HAVE IS TO CURSE THEIR CHILDREN, LITTLE REALISING THAT, IT MAY BE THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN Allah ACCEPTS HER DU’ÂS AND THUS HER CURSE WILL, BE ACCEPTED; THIS WILL CAUSE HARM IN BOTH THE WORLDS. SHE MUST TRY TO AVOID DOING THIS.

Another habit which women also have when they meet is backbiting. This does many harms to the Dîn and she should, therefore, try to safeguard herself from this. It is very important for a woman to dress at home according to her normal way and standards. IF SHE HAS TO GO OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR SOME REASON THEN SHE SHOULD BE SIMPLY DRESSED, EVEN UNTIDILY, IF POSSIBLE, THOUGH OTHER WOMEN MAY LOOK DOWN UPON HER. If she stays untidy in the house, then she will lose the love and respect of her husband. If she beautifies herself and goes out of the house, then outsiders will cast their gaze on her. It is totally wrong for her to go out in this manner and it should, therefore, be avoided.

Women easily become possessed by the Shaytân and evil spirits: firstly, due to their natural beauty and secondly due to their remaining in a state of impurity for a long period. She should read ‘Ayat al-Kursi’, “Qul aûzu birabbil falaq” and “Qul aûzu birabbin nâs” after every fardh prayer and before going to sleep; she should read Ayat al-Kursi and the four surahs beginning with ‘Qul’ i.e.

‘Qul yâ ayyuhal-kâfirûn’, ‘Qul huwallahu ahad’, ‘Qul aûzu birabbil falaq’

and ‘Qul aûzu birabbin nâs’ then she should blow on her palms and pass

them over the whole body. IF SHE IS IN A STATE OF IMPURITY, SHE SHOULD READ THE ABOVE BY HEART WITHOUT MOVING HER LIPS OR TONGUE AND THIS WILL ALSO BE BENEFICIAL FOR HER, INSHA-Allah .